humor

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

"I think it's part of the responsibility of an artist to shock, to upset, to make people think differently, and to surprise people. And that's where the good humor is, if there's a surprise and there's something unexpected. Something that's not normal, not in the realm of general living expectations."

"While I was drying off Maddie after her bath tonight, she said, 'I love you' to me for the first time. It sounded like 'All lub boo,' but I didn't care. To reciprocate, I showed her what an ex-Marine looks like when he cries."

"Someday is not a day of the week."

"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it."

"'Big Bang Theory' is not my kind of show. It's not my humor. I don't like multicam comedies. I don't want an audience to tell me when to laugh."

"Solutions-oriented campaigning with a little passion and a little humor; I think that will go a long way. I think people are desperate for it."

"I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers."

"When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living."

"To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship."

"Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here."

"There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day."

"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."

"You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena."

"The thing that makes 'Dirty Jobs' different is that it's one of the few shows that portrays work in a way that doesn't highlight the drudgery. Instead, it highlights the humor."

"The president of General Motors was in a foul humor."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross."

"I have a good sense of humor. I think everything we do should have whimsy in it."