humor

"I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat"bullshit. We're a virus with shoes."

"Robert Walker as Bruno was excellent. He had elegance and humor, and the proper fondness for his mother."

"Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe."

"In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded."

"I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value."

"A strong sense of humor, a really awesome personality, and maturity is also really important in a boyfriend. I tend to only be attracted to older guys for that reason. I just love guys who have a really strong sense of who they are."

"It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal."

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."

"If you merge an emergency with a mannequin, that’s how I look at networking events. To make each handshake more feel more personal, I try to wear the thinnest rubber gloves I can find."

"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."

"Love, as wonderful and horrible as it is, has at its center a kind of pitiful humor."

"Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress."

"Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?"Isabelle shrugged philosophically. "I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt."

"Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?""I though it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house at night and throw up in his mailbox."

"My eyes are bronze, my hair is turning silver, and my heart is gold. Oh, and my love for you belongs in the Olympics, because it’s Special."

"Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing--turn your toes out when you walk---And remember who you are!"

"THE WOMAN WAS GOING TO KILL HIM, and not because she was stronger and more vicious than he was. Which, if he thought about it, she was. He’d never ripped a man’s throat out with his teeth, and he was damned impressed that Gwen had. She’d made the Lords of the Underworld look like marshmallows."

"My father was an electrical engineer who worked at Westinghouse in Pittsburgh. When I was growing up, my mother wrote humor columns for the local paper. She was the Erma Bombeck of Murrysville, Pa."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."