humor

"I want the gift of a guitar—no strings attached. I want your love to also have no strings attached—and be just as musical."

"Just believe everything I tell you, and it will all be very, very simple.'Ah, well, I'm not sure I believe that."

"Dear God in heaven.” Nik and Ban turned away, but Alek stood. Transfixed. “My God, y’all. She’s the worst goddamn dancer I’ve ever seen.” “Turn away. It’ll hurt your eyes. Turn away!"

"A lot of people into Tool, for some reason, are not interested in humor."

"I need to end up with someone who is strong, intelligent, independent, someone I really admire - sensitive, sensuous, warm, a sense of humor."

"I'm actually a perpetual 13-year-old. I've never advanced beyond 13. Every day, tomorrow is my 14th birthday. That's my kind of humor."

"I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird."

"Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?"

"Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?"Minho asked, pulling Thomas's attention away from Alby."Go ahead,"Newt replied.Minho nodded and faced the crowd. "Be careful,"he said dryly. "Don't die."

"It is harder to crack prejudice than an atom."

"Tacos.""Tacos?"I echoed.This seemed to amuse him. "Tomatoes, lettuce, cheese.""I know what a taco is!"

"Okay,"I said. "Just a normal afternoon and two normal people."She nodded. "And so...hypothetically, if these to people likes each other, what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl, huh?""Oh..."I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows-slow, dumb, and bright red. "Um..."

"Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here."

"Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"

"Picking my topics is sort of a process of elimination for me. Most things don't work for me. I like to cover science and unexpected things happening in labs. Also, theoretical research doesn't work for my style. I need scenes and interactions. Then, humor. I'm having the most fun when I can have fun with my work."

"I've got a theory, it could be bunnies...I've got a theor-Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposesThey've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.And what's with all the carrots-?What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?Bunnies, bunnies it must be bunnies!...or maybe midgets..."

"I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I... must... not... look... like... a... baboon’s... backside."

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

"I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical."

"They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. "Get the mail, Dudley,"said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. "Make Harry get it.""Get the mail, Harry.""Make Dudley get it.""Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."