humor

"I wrote you a love letter, and I sent it snail mail. Love is forever, and that’s about how long it’ll take to get to you."

"Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car."

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

"I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?"

"My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health."

"I think being a parent is knowing how to love. Sometimes love is discipline, sometimes it's humor, sometimes it's listening."

"I've been encouraging documentary filmmakers to use more and more humor, and they're loath to do that because they think if it's a documentary it has to be deadly serious - it has to be like medicine that you're supposed to take. And I think it's what keeps the mass audience from going to documentaries."

"A goal without a plan is just a wish."

"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it."

"If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat."

"As I get older, my sense of humor is my biggest asset."

"Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana."

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,"he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."

"As people, we're generally optimistic, no matter how disabled our lives are, and we find the humor in the darkest situations."

"Politically, I feel out of touch, like I’m wearing gloves—boxing gloves. We need to go bareknuckle to beat back the entrenched establishment."

"Some people have lives; some people have music."

"When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing."