humor

"YOU FEAR TO DIE?"It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break..."

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."

"It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'."

"In sitcoms, the women are so beautiful, understanding and well-bred. They have humor, but sort of display it with a twinkle of the eye and not a guffaw. But there's no juice in that for me."

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."

"It's my turn to see you through,' she whispers, coming back to me and wrapping me in her blanket as I lose my shit all over again. She holds me until I recover my Y chromosome."

"I’ll finish the bottle of wine, while you finish what you were saying about how good it is. If you waste no words, I’ll waste no time."

"My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored."

"In the household in which I was raised, the themes were pretty simple. 'Work hard. Don't quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.'"

"People come up to me as I leave the stage after a performance and tell me tey saw my mother onstage with me every time I sing. I keep a sense of humor about it."

"I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating."

"Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice."

"Another relative?"Valek asked.A broad smile stretched Moon Man's lips. "Yes. I am her mother's uncle's wife'sthird cousin."--Valek and Moon Man"

"I try to find humor in everything I do, because I think all great plays - even great tragedies - have enormous humor in them."

"We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment."

"I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it's one of those classics you can come back to again... and again."

"You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years."

"MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT."

"You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor.""But you're a minor,"she pointed out. "At least for beer.""Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?"