humor

"I suppose I look for humor in most situations because it humanizes things; it makes a character much more three-dimensional if there's some kind of humor. Not necessarily laugh-out-loud type of stuff, just a sense that there is a humorous edge to things. I do like that."

"All the time you're saying to yourself, 'I could do that, but I won't,' — which is just another way of saying that you can't."

"There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)"

"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."

"Francis Bacon has the most delicious last name ever, followed closely by Johnny Scrambledeggs. I make love like those two guys make breakfast out of family reunions."

"Pooh,"said Rabbit kindly, "you haven't any brain.""I know,"said Pooh humbly."

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

"Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family."

"Okay, God, I thought. Get me out of this and I’ll stop my half-assed church-going ways. You got me past a pack of Strigoi tonight. I mean, trapping that one between the doors really shouldn't have worked, so clearly you're on board. Let me get out of here, and I’ll...I don’t know. Donate Adrian’s money to the poor. Get baptized. Join a convent. Well, no. Not that last one."

"There was a time I was very much blaming the way I felt on L.A, that it was a vacuum of creativity, of humor or anything organic, and I was really angry at the place. But then today I feel completely different - I love L.A.!"

"Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury."

"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."

"Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival."

"Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies."

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."

"Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet."

"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."

"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."

"How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?"asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding."The Ministry's providing a couple of cars,"said Mr. Weasley.Everyone looked up at him."Why?"said Percy curiously."It's because of you, Perce,"said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-""-for Humongous Bighead,"said Fred."

"Any attempts at humor immediately after September 11th were deemed tasteless."