#humor

"You should spend more time reading the Good Book and less reading all those novels. What are you going to tell the Lord on Judgement Day when He asks you why you didn't read your bible? Hmm?"I will tell Him that His press agents could have done with a writing lesson or two, I said. To myself."

"She wondered if it was her stupid mother, the goddess of love, messing with her thoughts. If Piper started getting urges to read fashion magazines, she was going to have to find Aphrodite and smack her."

"Alas! Earwax!"

"Where have all the Fembots gone?"

"Reflection Upon Reflection [10w] Don't look into a mirror in rooms full of mirrors."

"What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?""Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."

"Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells."

"Taste [10w] + [10w] "If you have sophisticated taste, you like what I like.If you're a Neanderthal, you will love what I hate."

"I can envision your success all day long, but until you imagine its reality, it’s not going to happen. So what are you waiting for? Start daydreaming."

"She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong."

"Don’t Let the Dead Fish Fool You [10w] Even the eyes of a dead fish can reflect light."

"She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir."

"And Nedley started saying,'Shut Up!Quit that! And i knew it really meant something to him. So I asked for his help,"Mark said. "Don't tell the story like that,"Nedley laughed. "What he said was 'Quit pretendin you're a bad guy I need your help, and I need it now!"

"Hermits vs. Rising Real Estate Costs [10w] Hermits can no longer afford a cabin in the woods."

"THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."

"The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families."

"The Stink of Hate {Couplet} When haters write they raise a stink;must be the venom coursing through their ink."

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"Good and Evil To have good and evil the Devil must always remain a step beyond saving."