#humor

"Library [10w] Hopefully, the library in the afterlife doesn't contain contemporary poetry."

"Self-growth comes from being nurtured, not tortured. I had to learn this the hard way. On sale now: Iron Maiden. Only used once."

"The Poet's Disease My body atrophies.My mind swells.Imagination's become my crutch."

"Jace's eyes sparkled, but he said calmly, "Not at all. the Silent Brothers can help her retrieve her memories.""You hate the Silent Brothers,"protested Isabelle."I don't hate them,"said Jace candidly."I'm afraid of them. It's not the same thing.""I thought you said they were libarians,"said Clary."They are librarians."Simon whistled. "Those must be some killer late fees."

"Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!"

"Socrates [10w] "I know less than you.That's how smart I am!"

"Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."

"Bite me, Goth princess,” Shane called from the back. “Not literally or anything.”“Maybe you should say that to Michael.”“Not funny, Eve,” Michael said.Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. “Little bit,” she said."

"Black Hole The death of one great man makes the world seem empty;the death or three creates a back hole in the heart of humanity.In Memorium 2015B.B. KingOliver SacksNicholas Winton"

"That’s what being alive is, Thing! It’s being badly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing!"

"An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.'I could have tripped.'She stared at him. A moment dragged by.'I'm joking,' he said at last.She relaxed. 'Really?''Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful."

"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."

"They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers."

"Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health."

"Tangled [10w] Love becomes a tangle of roots submerged in common soil."

"Well, Diotallevi and I are planning a reform in higher education. A School of Comparative Irrelevance, where useless or impossibe courses are given. The school's aim is to turn out scholars capable of endlessly increasing the number of unnecessary subjects."

"Words of Wisdom [10w] Words of wisdom worth saying wouldfit on a T-shirt.@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@­:::::"

"Dysfunctional Love We split up not because he or she didn't love us,but because they did love us in the only way they knew how."

"As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight."

"Growing marijuana is like having a Pharmacy Farm, and of all the drugs, the ones from Mother Nature are the best."