#humor

"How do I know you'll keep your word?"asked Coraline."I swear it,"said the other mother. "I swear it on my own mother's grave.""Does she have a grave?"asked Coraline."Oh yes,"said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back."

"A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, "How to Build a Boat."

"FABLEHAVEN: None who enter will leave unchanged. Trespassers will be turned to stone."

"Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird."

"All the time you're saying to yourself, 'I could do that, but I won't,' — which is just another way of saying that you can't."

"At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated."

"Nomad {Couplet} When your roots grow from the outside in,home becomes whatever place you're in."

"Doublemint Gum: Double your pleasure. Double your fun... ...we're talking ménage à trois, you son of a gun."

"My brain? That's my second favorite organ."

"Ballz Deep & Strange Haiku [1] Down the schnapps, third eye,cat flaps, pussy hole, fish lips,cha cha, ooo la la."

"Patriotism [10w] Patriotism for the rich is a subtle synonym for profiteering."

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."

"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed."

"Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think."

"I can envision your success all day long, but until you imagine its reality, it’s not going to happen. So what are you waiting for? Start daydreaming."

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

"No, thanks,"said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick."Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said."

"People with money have to worry about who their real friends are. I don’t have that problem for two reasons: I don’t have any money, and I don’t have any friends."

"It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay."- China Sorrows -"