#humor

"You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena."

"Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while."

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

"Life is and will ever remain an equation incapable of solution, but it contains certain known factors."

"The world isn't fair, Calvin.""I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?"

"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."

"I still can't believe,"Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire."

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."

"You've brushed your teeth,"He says, staring at me."I used your toothbrush."His lips quirk up in a half smile. "Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?"

"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."

"Recipe for Love [10w] Recipe for love:compatibilityattraction ~just add penis and stir."

"If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life."

"What's a Proper Tribute to Robin Williams? [10w] When funnymen die is to better to laugh or cry?"

"People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing our grammatical way of life."

"Justice will prevail!"

"Butch tightened his grip on his cell and wished there were an app that let you reach through a phone and bitch slap someone."

"People don’t buy products—they buy people. It’s called slavery. I mean networking. It’s called networking."

"Too Beautiful for Words [10w] + [10w] When nature presents us with miracles too beautiful for words,it is either a mountain, a beach, or a baby."