#humor

"If everyone wants to be somebody, I want to be somebody else"

"Deaf [10w] No man suffers deafness if he listens with his eyes."

"Rotaryrotatory In a universe composed wholly of revolving doors we'll have no need for gatekeepers or tipping doormen at Christmas."

"That Jesus Kinda' Love [20w] What people do for the loveof their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,I wouldn't do for my fucking mother."

"Forget [10w] {Couplet} Let's lift our goblet of regret,forgive, forsake and forget."

"As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney."

"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered."

"Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!!"

"Hope for the Heartbroken A broken heartremains in piecesbut learns to love againwith every fragment."

"A scaly lizard in soapy water makes a great scrubber. I’d wash my hands of her, if I didn’t enjoy being treated like a dishrag so much."

"New Age Advertising ATTEND OUR REINCARNATION RETREATGuaranteed to be a once in a lifetime experience.Sure it costs $5000, but lets face it,you only live once."

"No matter what argument you make against evolution, the response is Well, you know, it's possible to believe in evolution and believe in God. Yes, and it's possible to believe in Spiderman and believe in God, but that doesn't prove Spiderman is true."

"I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s better than nodding off."

"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability."

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

"Now, I'm Not Born Yet [10w] I brought a sundial to a flight crossing the International-Date-Line."

"To be is to do - SocratesTo do is to be - SartreDo Be Do Be Do - Sinatra"

"I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule."

"With no reason to hide these words I feel, and no reason to talk about the books I read, but still, I do."

"Library [10w] Hopefully, the library in the afterlife doesn't contain contemporary poetry."