#humor

"On Knowledge: You know that I know you know, but I want you to know that I know you know I know you know I know. It’s important for you to know that, you know?"

"Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."Have you been watching Oprah again?"

"Telephone pole wires get in the way of great photos. Communication always gets in the way of communication."

"I've always thought people would find a lot more pleasure in their routines if they burst into song at significant moments."

"I am a man, and men do not drink pink drinks. Now, be gone, woman, and fetch me something brown."Jace said. "Brown?"said Isabelle."Yes. Brown. It's a manly color. See? Alec is wearing it."Jace said."Well, it was black but it faded."Alec said."Well, I can always fix it up with something sparkly,"Magnus said, holding a sparkley headband. "Resist the urge, Alec, resist the urge."Simon said."

"God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it."

"Legacy To leave a legacy,you first gotta leave your leg in the door."

"Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises."

"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."

"Where I come from, we're more about efficiency,' he replies. 'A knife like this'll skewer food, smear butter, and slit throats all at the same time."

"i told you he'd freak out, she siad. didn't i?ah, the i told you so, jace said. always a classy move"

"Balt Van Tassel was an easy indulgent soul; he loved his daughter better even than his pipe, and, like a reasonable man and an excellent father, let her have her way in everything."

"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."

"Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."

"See?” I’d whispered to Bones, nudging him with a grin. “He never argues with her. Isn’t that sweet?”A snort preceded his response. “Keep dreaming, pet."

"Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?""What?"He looks mortally offended. "Do I look like the kind of guy who's never had a girlfriend? Have you even met me?"

"Kira: L, do you knowGods of deathlove apples?L: Damn you, Kira..."

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"

"I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before."

"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?"it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."