#humor

"Two things that matter to me. Emotional resonance and rocket launchers."

"My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map."

"This is a good place,"he said."There's a lot of liquor,"I agreed."

"When I touched her body,I believed she was God.In the curves of her formI found the birth of Man,the creation of the world,and the origin of all life."

"What is the Meaning of Life? [10w] {6} To be transformed into all we are capable of becoming."

"A Matter of Perspective I see rain dancing on the stage of the pond.Fish see heaven throwing a thousand kisses.My wife see a drizzle of olive oil on a pot of spaghetti. The scientist sees condensation and precipitation.The rain sees reincarnation.A poet see them all in permutation."

"Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."

"Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.""You noticed,"said Simon. "I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,"added Magnus. "Please never say those words in front of my parents,"said Alec."

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."

"I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long."-Nudge"

"Don't ever trust men with good intentions. They'll always disappoint you."Leo"

"I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. But I didn’t stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors, so I could fondle you more efficiently, like the highly trained professionals do who run airport security."

"Wherefore Art Thou, William [10w] Every Shakespeare mouse 'tis tim'rous and every lover 'tis fuck'd."

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"They'd Rather Switch [10w] Hearing is wasted on the blind;sight, on the deaf."

"...How would you like to die, Tyrion son of Tywin?""In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty,"he replied."

"I think computer viruses should count as life ... I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."

"If you need me I’ll be sitting over there, on the ground, next to the empty chair. The emptiness always reminds me of your love."

"Oliver laughed - actually laughed."I like this new Claire,"he said. "You should work her this hard all the time, Myrnin. She's interesting when she's forthright."Claire, possessed by the spirit of Eve, shot him the finger. Which made him laugh again, shake his head, and walk up the steps."

"Knocked-Up Kinda' Loven Marry, me, marry me, marry me,You better say, 'affirmative',Cuz you stuck a bun in my ovenand you haven't an alternative."