#humor

"So many books, so little time."

"Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way."

"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."

"I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not."

"Ginny!"said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?"

"Before we go, I gotta know: If mind-reading abilities are real, there's something else I wondered if fiction got right about vampires-""Ask me if I sparkle and I'll kill you where you stand,"Bones cut him off with utmost seriousness."

"I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100."

"Ode to a Wastepaper Basket I love the way you sit in the corner,gracious like a lover,catching my every crumpled vanity."

"Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right."

"You won't even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?""I've a knife in my boot,"she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands."

"To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here’s mine: Free TV with purchase of potato chips and couch."

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

"Tofino, Canada Haiku Free flowing clothes,Strumming guitar on the beach.Still my baggage follows me."

"War [10w] Fight wars not to win, but so our enemies don't."

"It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really."

"Love Undeniable [10w] A lover may deny anything to their lover but love."

"People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't."

"Elend: I kind of lost track of time…Breeze: For two hours?Elend: There were books involved."

"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised."

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."