#humor

"In and Out [10w] Our infant blanket in the externalization of our mother's womb.ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ Intruth, we should be married under,sling our newborn babiesinand after deathbe shrouded in the same infant blanketwe were taken home from the hospital in."

"Man...heats up like a lightbulb: red hot in the twinkling of an eye and cold again in a flash. The female, on the other hand...heats up like an iron. Slowly, over a low heat, like tasty stew. But then, once she has heated up, there's no stopping her."

"Different people have different ideas. We need to kill them—the ideas, not the people. The people we just need to torture."

"I never met a man that I didn't like."

"Razo hopped back up and adopted a posture that said he was completely unruffled, never had been, and in fact was ready to do something manly like lift boulders or swallow live worms."

"A Moment Before Impact [10w] The deer's eyes were moonstones, reflecting back my car's headlights."

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."

"I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones."

"Oh, don't mind me,"came an extremely sarcastic voice near the wall. “You two go ahead and make out–I'll just sit here and bleed quietly."

"Rat-Race [10w] There’s no refuge for creatures opting out of the rat-race."

"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."

"A witch, a vampire, and a pixy walk into a bar, I thought as I led the way into the Squirrel’s End. It was early, and the sun had yet to set when the door swung shut behind Jenks, sealing us in the warm air smelling faintly of smoke. Immediately Nick yanked it open to come in behind us. And there’s the punch line."

"I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you."

"How long have you been a Wiccan?''A what?''A pagan. A witch.''I'm not a witch,' I said, glancing out the door. 'I'm a wizard.'Sanya frowned. 'What is the difference?''Wizard has a Z'He looked at me blankly.'No one appreciates me.' I muttered."

"You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."

"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."

"Graffiti is one of the few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make someone smile while they're having a piss."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."