#humor

"Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?— Riley Poole"

"If you need help bark like a dog."- Gendry. "That's stupid. If I need help I'll shout help."- Arya"

"I lost my faith in my faithlessness. I believe I’m a nonbeliever now."

"When I have to be in two places at once, my mind at once decides twice which one place to be in."

"But there is in everything a reasonable division of labour. I have written the book, and nothing on earth would induce me to read it."

"If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home."

"The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"...quantum mechanics—the physics of our world—requires that you hold such pedestrian complaints in abeyance."

"Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.."

"You, Ms. Lane, are a menace to others! A walking, talking catastrophe in pink!"

"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."

"Free running is wall dancing, and that’s why I do my best moves while sitting in a rocking chair. I like to relax dangerously."

"All the world is queer save thee and me, and even thou art a little queer."

"I wear a glove to honor all the men who have given me a hand. And to think, out of all those men, they only had one hand. No wonder I never get any high-fives."

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."

"Evey Hammond: Who are you? V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. Evey Hammond: Well I can see that. V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is"

"All the time you're saying to yourself, 'I could do that, but I won't,' — which is just another way of saying that you can't."

"I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of."

"Why are you limping like that?' Nicholas demanded.'I'm swaggering,' I informed him.'You look like you're wearing a diaper.'Charming. And I had a crush on this guy.Wait. I had a crush on this guy?'Now what?' he asked. 'You're making weird faces.''Nothing,' I said quickly. 'Never mind."