#humor

"See?"she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!""Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!"

"Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But, that would be called canibalism. It is looked down upon in most societies."

"Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something"

"Yams vs. Sweet Potatoes vs. Cassava vs. Popeye [10w] "I am that I am that I am a yam."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville."

"We made love like two coiled up fire hoses. When there’s no fire in the romance, why not act like a couple of sleeping snakes?"

"My life was going to flash before my eyes, but it decided to hide behind my eyes and quake with terror instead."

"Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter."

"Comments Being the first to comment on a poem,is like breaking a bottle of champagneagainst the hull of a new ship."

"Trickeries, Sophistries and Traps [10w] Life's great irony is that we, the trapped,set traps."

"No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk."

"I was wasting my time, praying for love.For a love that never comes, from someone who does not exist."

"My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map."

"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."

"Object of Desire A woman knows she's the object of a unknown man's desirelike a game animal becoming aware it is being looked at."

"Hey, our hair's the same color,"I said, eying us side by side in the mirror."Sure is, girlfriend."Eric grinned at me."

"I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one and the same."

"I grew a garden in her heart. There was plenty of space for flowers, because her heart was completely empty of love."

"I’m so shy I make Bigfoot look like a socialite. Networking’s not a mystery to me—but I’m mythical to networking."