#humor

"Good planning is important. I've also regarded a sense of humor as one of the most important things on a big expedition. When you're in a difficult or dangerous situation, or when you're depressed about the chances of success, someone who can make you laugh eases the tension."

"A word to the wise is infuriating."

"And, she was able to tell herself with some satisfaction, the man in question - one Colin Bridgerton - felt precisely the same way........His earth shook, his heart leaped, and Penelope knew without a doubt that his breath was taken away as well. For a good ten seconds.Falling off a horse tended to do that to a man."

"A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped like a water droplet, because kisses are hot and would melt chocolate—even if it is wearing an astronaut suit made out of tinfoil."

"Please Don't Commemorate Me Just Yet [10w] The living are only commemorated when they're at death's door."

"A tree with red leaves is like an old man with gray hair. Likewise, my love for you was blue, but now it’s orange, and that’s a compliment."

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."

"The only French word I know is oui, which means “yes,” and only recently did I learn it’s spelled o-​u-​i and not w-​e-​e."

"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."

"Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than "Boy, I wish you hadn't mummified me and thrown me into the lake"hate."

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."

"And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders."

"Love's a Sacred Vessel [10w] Love's the sacred vessel embracing the mystical energy of evolution."

"It's not like there's a law against flying.""Yes there is. The law of gravity."

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

"Perfection [10w] If you've attained perfection,then what's the point of living?"

"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."

"A Moment Before Impact [10w] The deer's eyes were moonstones, reflecting back my car's headlights."

"Political Strategists Avoids the Controversial [10w] Politicians win by pandering to the base of shared assumptions."