#relationships

"First Things First [10w] God created the possibility of absurditybefore he created man."

"I know my heart will never be the sameBut I'm telling myself I'll be okay"

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Now, I'm Not Born Yet [10w] I brought a sundial to a flight crossing the International-Date-Line."

"The AP Stylebook is Useless {Couplet} I can't abbreviate abbreviation nor know how to initialize an acronym,I can find the contraction for contraction nor the précis for a homonym."

"If You Can't Think, You've No Right to Speak [10w] Our Constitution's guarantee of free speech specifically excludes fucking idiots."

"He who wants a rose must respect her thorn."

"It seemed that we loved each other better when there were large swaths of two continents between us. The daily work of love was often hard to perform at home."

"Good Egg [10w] Picking up the pieces is the responsibilty of the egg."

"He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great."

"Movies [10w] Movies were invented to sellbuttery snacks and sugary drinks"

"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."

"The foundation of adult trust is not "You will never hurt me."It is "I trust myself with whatever you do."

"Truth builds trust."

"We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence."

"Chase vs. Choose Happiness If you chase after happiness, it may escape you.If you choose happiness, it may take your house away.Both chasing and choosing have their hazards ~but they're less risky than waiting for happiness to find you.Remember, happiness is a lazy ass motherfuckerthat doesn't go on search and rescue missions."

"Diplomacy The diplomat's expert way of saying 'They should go fuck themselves' is:"We are agreed in principleand will take our minor differencesunder thoughful consideration."

"Committees [10w] A committee sits in a rectangle and talks in circles."

"Hereafter she is only my sister in name; not because I disown her, but because she has disowned me."

"I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me."