Bill Watterson

"I liked things better when I didn't understand them."

"CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien."

"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"

"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations."

"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept."

"Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat."

"HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams."

"HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills."

"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help."

"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder."

"I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."