humor

"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."

"To me, nudity is a joke. I don't think nude people are very attractive at all. I like my women fully clothed. I like to imagine what might be under there. It might not be the standard thing. Imagine, stripping a woman down, and she has a body like a little submarine. With periscope, propellers, torpedoes. That would be the one for me. I'd marry her right off and be faithful to the end."

"Part of my humor is the fact that I love coming out of left field. I don't want people to expect what is going to happen next."

"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on TheeAnd I'll forgive Thy great big one on me."

"I want to have fun. Life ain't no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I'm a comedian; I ain't no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love."

"He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page."

"Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny."

"I’m making naked, and I’m making it by hand and other body parts. Next I’ll be making spaghetti, if my first cooking show hasn’t been canceled by then."

"I think Canadian humor is a little less broad than American humor."

"Peanut butter and jelly is like the older, more serious brother to egg salad sandwich. I’m an only child, so I eat both with incredible sadness."

"Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'."

"Do you know, sire, I think that if we live to tell our grandchildren about this war, they will accuse us of making it up.' -Marielle"

"The president of General Motors was in a foul humor."

"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats."

"I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird."

"That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery."

"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."

"I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack."

"I hate girls that giggle all the time... You hate any girl that David looks at."

"Now what happens?"asked the man in black. "We face each other as God intended,"Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.""You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?"