humor

"In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke."

"Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment."

"See?"she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!""Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!"

"Hey,"said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are."The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes."Say 'Nevermore,'"said Shadow."Fuck you,"said the raven."

"'Hill Street,' because of the wacky nature of many of our characters, really allowed us to indulge a kind of cheek-to-jowl juxtaposition of high drama with very low humor."

"Jeez, Hazel,"Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?""With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing."Dude,"Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that..."

"You know how confusing the whole good-evil concept is for me."

"A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me."

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

"The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse"

"It's a fact that men make more money than women. That's why I became a man. Best decision of my life."

"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now."

"Solutions-oriented campaigning with a little passion and a little humor; I think that will go a long way. I think people are desperate for it."

"Laughter is an instant vacation."

"Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying."

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want."

"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."

"My legacy would be that you don't have to give up anything. You can be chic but have a sense of humor, you can be sexy but comfortable, you can be timeless but fresh."

"As a rule of thumb, hitchhiking is no fun. If you’re going to stand around waiting to move, you may as well get paid to hold a pawnshop sign."

"A word to the wise is infuriating."