humor

"All I try to do is as earnestly and as acutely as I can, conceive a character and try to portray this character just honestly. If the humor is within the absurdity and the awfulness of situations, then let it be seen that way."

"I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regrettedmost of them, but never the potatoes that went with them."

"I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote"so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote."

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him will believeth in anything. - Hitchens 3:16"

"Humor expands our limited picture frame and gets us to see more than just our problem."

"It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin."

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

"Is your Happy Meal full of dancing? Put a box around it and sell it to kids. They could use the exercise."

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."

"What's up?"[asked Ford.]I don't know,"said Marvin, "I've never been there."

"Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home."

"There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor."

"When you're the only sane person, you look like the only insane person."

"Trying to remember a dream from a decade ago is like trying to catch fog in a coffee filter. I could subsist on morning mist."

"I both made the knife-fighting team, and I got cut. If only love were so easy to understand."

"The baby batScreamed out in fright,'Turn on the dark,I'm afraid of the light."

"Knocking on a door is so violent. Talk on the door. Try to get it to open up through communication, not violence."

"I have great respect for my parents. I got such beautiful things from both of them. It doesn't mean that we didn't have our rough times, but they were remarkable people who were open-minded, creative and hard-working, and had great senses of humor."

"I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner"

"It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love."