humor

"If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you."

"Athletes tend to have less of a sense of humor than most people. They are heroes to so many. That might be part of it."

"The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, 'Hey, check out my zit!' - you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to."

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

"It was a lame excuse, and I knew that wasn't the reason he was canceling. If he wanted to avoid me, I would have preferred he made up something about how he and the other guardians had to up Moroi security or practice top-secret ninja moves."

"Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder"

"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"

"Let’s do a 50-50 deal, with me getting 75% of the profits, and you getting the other half. That’s how we can both get the most value out of a relationship."

"My name represents me, but it’s not who I am. It’s just a collection of letters. Unfortunately, none of them are love letters."

"Soap?""School of America in Paris"he explains. "SOAP".Nice. My father sent me here to be cleansed."

"She wondered if it was her stupid mother, the goddess of love, messing with her thoughts. If Piper started getting urges to read fashion magazines, she was going to have to find Aphrodite and smack her."

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."

"Her and I, we have a two chairs and a table kind of love. You should pull up a feeling and have a seat."

"The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options."

"There is a lack of humor in fashion. To me, it's always been the fun, cool industry to work in, and I always wanted people to be on my side and see how much fun we really have behind the scenes."

"I have a lot of love to give, because free samples are the best way to encourage sales."

"Lying in bed listless, I wrote a list. I then had a list, but I was still listless. Perhaps because my list was of all the things I love, and every entry was you."

"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."

"I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor."

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."