humor

"Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tyson pounding the Earthborn into the ground like a game of whack-a-mole. Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive."SMASH!"Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin."

"No, thanks,"said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick."Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said."

"The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

"Love is a Heaven Cake, with clouds for icing. If there are two pieces left, I guess I can have seconds."

"Well, the most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor."

"Quite often, intent on conveying how things can go wrong for a culture (science fiction) or an individual (horror) or all of magical creation (fantasy), works of fantastika often preclude comedy, because humor gets in the way of messages of doom or struggle."

"Sometimes I sit for hours just thinking, wondering what the man upstairs is trying to tell me. Yesterday I reached the conclusion that he was saying, “Get me a slinky."

"It felt as if things were literally slipping through my fingers. Things were just streaming away from me. I lost my sense of humor. I'm still looking for that."

"I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them."

"I don't have a lot of domestic instincts,"Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down."I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file."

"DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH."

"Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!"

"The word long is short, and so is the word short, but why is the word love as long as long? Shouldn’t it be longer?"

"Wit is the lowest form of humor."

"I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor."

"Even the ocean waves take their hellos to the people all the time. I should take my hellos down to the beach and sell waves to the tourists."

"If you see me pushing a wheelbarrow full of animal balloons up a hill, it may be a Zen koan, or it may be buy two get a third for FREE."

"Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, "Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that."

"I'm interested in humor, and greeting cards just happen to be a perfect medium for my message. They're accessible to everyone, and thanks to all the advances that have been made by environmentally conscientious printers, I can get my message across while keeping my carbon footprint relatively small."

"If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl."