humor

"Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison."

"When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific."

"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up."

"A well-read woman is a dangerous creature."

"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."

"No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor."

"I'm trying to make some sense out of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason,"and I think I've figured out what the reason is - to pissed me off."

"I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?"

"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."

"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."

"As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?"

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

"The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon."

"I think God has a tremendous sense of humor."

"When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful."

"Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset."

"Every time I annoy him he retreats into his No Mundanes Allowed tree house."Simon pointed at Jace."

"Bands from Akron have a sense of humor and don't tend to take themselves too seriously."

"‎No people whose word for 'yesterday' is the same as their word for 'tomorrow' can be said to have a firm grip on the time."

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."