humor

"Are you a female dog?""What?"Massie asked. "Why?""Because you are acting like a real bitch!"

"Humor writing requires a rhythm and timing, as well as some kind of connection to the reader, and I think that's how I tap into it."

"But it was this tough little character part that I was playing, a very funny little guy that I invented over a weekend, because I realized I was not contributing to the humor of this thing. And I had to do something."

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."

"I am not really breaking any rules. Charlie said I could never take another step through the door again... I came in through the window... Still, the intent was clear,"said Edward."

"Oh that looked painful,"called another Puck, a little farther down. "We really need to talk about your anger-management problems."

"We do need a system, and we do need you and your 'Bertos, and sometimes we need Sam to just come along and kick some ass. - Quinn"

"It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?"

"I both made the knife-fighting team, and I got cut. If only love were so easy to understand."

"How do you feel, Georgie?"whispered Mrs. Weasley.George's fingers groped for the side of his head."Saintlike,"he murmured."What's wrong with him?"croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?""Saintlike,"repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm HOLEY, Fred, geddit?"

"If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?"

"Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color or sexual habits, love life and your family."

"It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation."

"The goodbad news is she only stole half. The badgood news is she stole half. And when it’s love that’s been stolen, a hole the size of half your heart feels like the whole thing has been taken."

"Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—”“Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?”“No!”“Me neither,” Leo admitted."

"Do you mean ter tell me,"he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin' abou'—about ANYTHING?"Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad."I know some things,"he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."

"Great earrings would be little speakers, so she can hear better. Or maybe she just wasn’t listening all those times I told her I loved her."

"I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it."

"I wrote you a love letter. I used invisible ink to show I was being transparent with my feelings. And also to hide my feelings."

"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence."