humor

"Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that."

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others."

"If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be ..."

"There are the horror fans that love the 'Evil Dead' because of the humor, but I'm sure it's not all of them. Not all horror fans love 'Evil Dead' because of the humor, at least not me."

"I can hold my alcohol, just like I’m a wine bottle. I dance as fluid as glass, and my heart shatters just as easily."

"Yeah, but the lost diadem,"said Michael Corner, rolling his eyes, "is lost, Luna. That's sort of the point."

"I have to return some videotapes"

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."

"I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics."

"Hotel hallways should have conveyer belts for floors, so I can feel like a grocery item on vacation. I guess I’m just a romantic."

"The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy because gender doesn't define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do."

"Humor writing requires a rhythm and timing, as well as some kind of connection to the reader, and I think that's how I tap into it."

"You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things in it; I mean, I needed my sense of humor to do that part."

"This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?""I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?""Yes,"she said."That's influenza,"said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours."

"I met Elton John at an Interview dinner, and we just sort of became friends. He's got such a wicked sense of humor."

"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."

"4 in 5 Americans disapprove of the job Congress is doing, which begs the question: Are 1 in 5 Americans retarded?"

"No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,"

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

"I like men who have goals, something that they are passionate about and work hard to achieve. A good sense of humor is important too. And I like tall guys!"