humor

"And you're blind?"Uh-huh,"Iggy said, trying to sound bored.Were you born that way?"No."How did you become blind, uh, Jeff, is it?"Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened."

"And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders."

"I really wouldn't want to live in America. I found New York claustrophobic and dirty. I missed England when I was there, simple things like smells and the British sense of humor."

"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."

"If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave."

"Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy."

"Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove."

"When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific."

"Hale."Kat sighed. "The headmaster's car? Really? That's not to cliched for you?"What can I say?"He shrugged. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. Besides, it's a classic for a reason."He leaned against the window. "It's good to see you, Kat."Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you, too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possible you've gotten even hotter? I think I might have missed you?"

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,"Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me."

"She led the way. Eyeless sockets of the dead seemed to stare at them as they passed. "These are cool,"Dan decided. "Maybe I could-""No, Dan,"Amy said. "You can't collect human bones.""Awww."

"I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world."

"I'm about to get my grind on. My coffee grind. Like a true hustler."

"I question the equation like an equestrian, and I realize it’s horseshit. What is the equation? Vote=Change."

"Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited."

"I never particularly thought of myself as great with girls. I can be awkward, and I have a strange sense of humor at times. But I've also been learning to try and embrace that."

"I don't like it when I outweigh my men."

"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."

"Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?"she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet."I'm dying of boredom,"Howl said pathetically. "Or maybe just dying."

"There was a time I was very much blaming the way I felt on L.A, that it was a vacuum of creativity, of humor or anything organic, and I was really angry at the place. But then today I feel completely different - I love L.A.!"