humor

"Comedy, we may say, is society protecting itself - with a smile."

"I find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sensitivity sexy."

"Death should take me while I am in the mood."

"If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain."

"People in Russia adapt to misery by a deep, deep humor."

"Who are you?"he asked.I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on."

"You might not believe this, but there is no one like her at this school.""Oh I believe it,"I said, thinking back to the time Angeline had forgotten her locker's combination and tried to get into it with an axe.No one was really sure where she'd gotten it from."

"You're such a pain in the ass. (Butch) Said the SIG to the Glock. (V)"

"I am human and I need to be loved,just like everybody else does."

"What...what about when I'm married?”“We'll buy a cot. Your husband can sleep on that when he visits."

"Familiarity breeds contempt and children."

"I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red."

"Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat."

"As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]"

"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now."

"In my first story, 'Mr. Mysterious & Company'... I was asked to take out some of the humor because editors were afraid reviewers would dismiss the book as a joke. Today, humor is enjoyed and no longer regarded as literary brummagem."

"Where I come from, we're more about efficiency,' he replies. 'A knife like this'll skewer food, smear butter, and slit throats all at the same time."

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."