humor

"I am Clap Man. It’s a reverse super power, because instead of me doing the heavy lifting, I just applaud and encourage and others do all the work."

"Michael Pollan is a champion. In all ways. A man of great integrity, humor, and common sense and kindness."

"Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations."

"You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance."

"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."

"I asked if she wanted kids. She said her clock is ticking. I said, That’s because I set it five minutes ahead when you weren’t looking."

"No one believes you’re serious until bodies start to fall. -Vlad"

"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."

"What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?"she says after a few minutes of silence have passed."Honestly?""Does now seem like the time for honesty?"I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap."

"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?"it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

"2 out of 4 numbers prefer being in the bottom 50 percent. Half of all lovers also prefer being on the bottom."

"The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me."

"I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones."

"Down the road, I'll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events or spiritual things to comment on, and humor."

"Some people grow cotton, while I have a t-shirt farm. The rainy season is when I get the most visitors."

"He'd changed since the last summer. Instead of Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt, he wore a button-down shirt, khaki pants, and leather loafers. His sandy hair, which used to be so unruly, was now clipped short. He look like an evil male model, showing off what the fashionable college-age villain was wearing to Harvard this year."

"The world may be running out of water, but it isn’t running low on music. Let the dancing flow!"

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"

"The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected."

"When I did 'Sex and the City,' it was like, 'Let's do a comedy where the humor is not coming from innuendo but from the a truthful place. This is a show where we're going to be able to say and do what we want.'"