humor

"Oh no. Don't smile. You'll kill me. I stop breathing when you smile."

"Here’s to freedom, cheers to art. Here’s to having an excellent adventure and may the stopping never start."

"Room service? Send up a larger room."[A Night at the Opera]"

"I make jokes because humor is the greatest healing factor that there is."

"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."

"Cynicism is humor in ill health."

"I’m so shy I make Bigfoot look like a socialite. Networking’s not a mystery to me—but I’m mythical to networking."

"I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour."

"You know your Lamborghini is on fire, right?"

"Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes."

"I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need."

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious."

"I have detected disturbances in the wash.''The wash?''The space-time wash.''Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?''Eddies in the space-time continuum.''Ah...is he. Is he.''What?''Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly?"

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

"I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate."

"Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing."

"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money."

"Without humor, I cannot go on and I doubt many of my readers would go on either. Humor is so important. I am here to have fun here with my work."

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist"