humor

"Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated it with glue, covered it with cat hair, mounted it on my wall, and started claiming it was an exotic animal I killed on a Safari in Africa. I'd like to believe people believe me, on account of it being so strange that it has to be true."

"Thomas, my 15-year-old, is effectively my editor, I've always trusted his voice, more than anybody, on the strip for years. He has one of those ears that's just tuned to the rhythm of humor, so if he says something's not funny, my stomach just hurts because I know he's right, and it's already been drawn."

"Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation."

"Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny."

"I don't think arrested-adolescent humor will fade. Maybe the form will change, but I guarantee its replacement will still be based in immature behavior from mature figures."

"I'm not too modest of a person. I've got a pretty blue sense of humor."

"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want."

"A book without potty humor is like a banana split without hot fudge. It can still be good, I suppose, but you kinda get the feeling that something is missing."

"I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100."

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

"George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words."

"You know how confusing the whole good-evil concept is for me."

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."

"You catch more flies with honey than you do with chopsticks. Let this be a lesson in love."

"We get to live in a time that we get to use social media as a tool. It's not just a face on a piece of paper, and that's what makes you someone's favorite model. We can have a very similar sense of humor as someone, and that's why we're their favorite model, or our personal style, off the runway, is why we're their favorite."

"I'm a pretty tenacious person; I get that from my mom. So sometimes, I use dark humor. I can't take myself too seriously."

"Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth."

"Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads."

"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."