humor

"Our ability to find humor in the world, to make connections between previously unconnected notions, to create new ideas, to share in a common culture: All these essentially human acts depend on memory."

"I love Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart because they're bringing irony back into American humor, which is a delicious treat. The entire Colbert persona of being extreme right-wing when he's not at all is highly amusing. He does it so well, but sometimes a little too well. My wife is convinced he's completely that way."

"Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?"

"Trains are great dirty smoky things,"said Will. "You won't like it."Tessa was unmoved. "I won't know if I like it until I try it, will I?""I've never swum naked in the Thames before, but I know I wouldn't like it.""But think how entertaining for sightseers,"said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his grin."

"Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him."

"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."

"I always look like I’m lying. I was born with a politician’s face. You’ll know I’m in love when I have a Vote For Me look in my eyes."

"She'd met Colin on a Monday.She'd kissed him on a Friday.Twelve years later.She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic."

"You leave me tied up like a dog? Then you had better remember that this bitch bites!"

"I think being a parent is knowing how to love. Sometimes love is discipline, sometimes it's humor, sometimes it's listening."

"Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?"Minho asked, pulling Thomas's attention away from Alby."Go ahead,"Newt replied.Minho nodded and faced the crowd. "Be careful,"he said dryly. "Don't die."

"Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard."

"G.I. humor is similar to cop humor."

"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."

"We are not actually in charge of life, yet behave as if we are the masters of our own destiny. The realization of this fact is quite a hard one. The ridiculousness of our pomposity and presumption can only result in anger or humor."

"How do you feel, Georgie?"whispered Mrs. Weasley.George's fingers groped for the side of his head."Saintlike,"he murmured."What's wrong with him?"croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?""Saintlike,"repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm HOLEY, Fred, geddit?"

"I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating."

"You're Hell's Angels, then? What chapter are you from?''REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX."

"Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some."

"Humor is the affectionate communication of insight."