humor

"I asked for info, and he offered it for a price. Now I’m selling him my security services, and if he doesn’t pay me, I’m going to give him a karate lesson—for free."

"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."

"He was just trying to tease me - I knew that later - but he said he'd have to leave because it wasn't fair to have anyone in the room who was going to make fun of what he had to say. He had a good sense of humor, really."

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?"I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!"I yelled."

"I have a need to always make people laugh. I have a desperate need. I love a great sense of humor. The people I sort of surround myself with have that."

"Women's humor seems to be a little more supportive. It's just kind of trying to make the other one laugh through funny voices and kind of talking about other people. I respond to that. I feel less like I'm going to get beat up in a room full of women than I do in a room full of guys."

"You like them,"I realized.Noah's eyebrows lifted in question."Like as people.""As opposed to...furniture?""They're my PARENTS.""That is my understanding, yes."

"Her love stays with me wherever I go. That’s because I have it on a leash, like a dog, and I take it for walks like I do with my pet wheelchair."

"I'll do humor about myself, I'll poke fun and everything, but that's me and I can do it to me. I think it's cruel to do it to somebody else."

"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."

"I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long."-Nudge"

"Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?""I give.""You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog."

"I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else."

"I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family."

"My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony."

"A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me."

"Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny."

"Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies."

"On April 3, 2014, Jane Goodall turned 80. The iconic blond ponytail has gone gray, but the sparkle of intelligence, sly humor, and fierce dedication still shines from her hazel eyes."