humor

"Well you seemed too busy to call him a prat and I thought someone should."

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

"Poor David Hume is dying fast, but with more real cheerfulness and good humor and with more real resignation to the necessary course of things, than any whining Christian ever dyed with pretended resignation to the will of God."

"Kindness is really important to me in finding my own prince - so are patience and a sense of humor. Without those qualities he's no Prince Charming!"

"This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here."

"I like people with a good sense of humor, like Jennifer Aniston. She is amazing and is a great actress."

"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."

"A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise."

"Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over"

"Why were you lurking under our window?""Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?""Listening to the news,"said Harry in a resigned voice.His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage."Listening to the news! Again?""Well, it changes every day, you see,"said Harry."

"Ontologically, chocolate raises profoundly disturbing questions: Does not chocolate offer natural revelation of the goodness of the Creator just as chilies disclose a divine sense of humor? Is the human born with an innate longing for chocolate? Does the notion of chocolate preclude the concept of free will?"

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

"She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish."

"If you look at 'The Best Man,' there's a lot of humor in that, but I never consider that movie a comedy. I felt that it was a drama with comedic elements and comedic parts to it."

"The comic is the perception of the opposite; humor is the feeling of it."

"Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, but highly profitable."

"Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge."

"I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!"

"You can’t win in love. But if you could, I’d be the clear victor. Vodka is also clear, and I must be drunk."

"Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?""I give.""You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog."