humor

"Rock Hudson wasn't my type. He's a great guy and had a great sense of humor."

"I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up."

"Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee."

"[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]"Don't they teach you anything in your schools?""Not about this.""Pity. I suppose that's what comes of your main education flowing from Google."

"I was just shy of reaching my goal. My goal was to be more extroverted, so being just shy meant I completely failed."

"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"

"If we went by the world's definition of who I'm supposed to be because I look weird... 'Well, surely, this guy can't have a productive life, surely, he doesn't have a sense of humor. Surely, he can't love life.' We stereotype people in this world. And so... if the world thinks you're not good enough, it's a lie, you know. Get a second opinion."

"Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society."

"I’ll stand by you forever. Or at least until noon, and then I’ll go stand under the cabana. Isn’t love amazing?"

"We seemed to be trapped in an episode of One Life To Waste. It's all very dull."

"I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...”“Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore."

"Cervantes is the most important Spanish writer. But he is not the most representative of the Spanish. His irony, his sense of humor - they are too subtle to seem Spanish."

"To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here’s mine: Free TV with purchase of potato chips and couch."

"I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was."

"What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey."

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."

"I love you above all things, even pie."

"People who know me know I have a sense of humor that can really push the envelope."

"This is a mournful discovery.1)Those who agree with you are insane2)Those who do not agree with you are in power."

"There's clearly humor that goes too far and humor that is violative, and we are engaged in our humor in a complex call-and-response with one another. I'm telling you a joke to see if you think that it's funny... but if one of us violates some principle or touches on a particularly tender spot of the other, normally we adjust to that and move on."