humor

"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."

"I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library."

"I'm not really big on slapstick humor. I like gentle humor."

"Funny songs aren't usually that good. Like Weird Al and maybe a couple of Beatles songs, but it's kind of hard to bring humor into rock music in an interesting way."

"God has a most wicked sense of humor."

"They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers."

"Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face."

"In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke."

"I try to cope with everything through humor."

"EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY"

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist"

"Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading."

"I think in life, the sense of humor and comedy always exists."

"There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?"And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"

"Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.I'd finally found something Eric did poorly."

"There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God."

"Ride?"Rhage snorted. "Please. That thing is a sewing machine with an air dam taped to it. My GTO could dust the fucker in fourth gear from a dead stop."When there was an odd sound from behind, John looked back. So did the three Brothers. "What."Xhex bristled and crossed her arms over her chest. "I can laugh, you know. And that's . . . pretty damn funny."Rhage beamed. "I knew I liked you."

"When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if you sip it with your morning coffee, you’ll be light on your feet all day."