humor

"Chocolate is God's apology for brocolli"

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."

"Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny."

"In this country we have no place for hyphenated Americans."

"Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent."

"We made love like a goat has four legs like a table. If your dining room table can walk, it’s best to eat while sitting in wheelchairs."

"Instead of a vow of silence, I took a vow of invisibility. At that time you were looking for someone to love, and that’s why you couldn’t see me."

"I'm actually a perpetual 13-year-old. I've never advanced beyond 13. Every day, tomorrow is my 14th birthday. That's my kind of humor."

"In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms."

"Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?"

"Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it."

"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better."

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."

"People have hope because they cannot see Death standing behind them."

"A great nose may be an indexOf a great soul"

"I think that sense of humor is important in marriage. A sense of humor gets people through marriage."

"It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death.""Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it's a gigantic cake-"

"Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility."

"I tried to go out for theater or theater arts, but I was too scared or too intimidated. But I had a lot of friends on the cross country team that had great senses of humor."

"Don't talk to me.""Why not?""Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."