#humor

"So many books, so little time."

"We're going to knock those demons out and slay them with the power of Jesus. Hallelujah, can I get an amen?- Timmie"

"Percy was getting tired of water.If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care."

"*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine,"but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text."Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book."

"Avery If a boy named Avery marries a girl named Avery,will they name or just label their children?"

"Kronos would be 10 times more powerful. His very presence would incinerate you. And once he achieves this he will empower the other Titans. They are weak, compared to what they soon will become, unless you can stop them, the world will fall, the gods will die, and I will never achieve a perfect score on this stupid machine."

"My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored."

"Romantic Ring Ceremony Define this wedding ring,with which I betroth thee unto me forever,not by the confining boundaries of it's goldbut by the empty circle within -that perfect portal to your loving heartyou have opened for me, and me alone -as I have opened mine for you."

"Food If food comes with a labelthat's warning enough you shouldn't eat it."

"Frivolous Gossip and Poetry It's just so much frivolous gossip to dwell upon the moral merits of a poet;what should only concern the reader is the merit of his words.Leave moral judgments to the preachers and aesthetic judgments to the critical readers."

"Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury."

"Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ - one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn't a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way."

"How to End Racism [10w] The children of interracial marriages should look like panda bears."

"Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies"

"A tree with red leaves is like an old man with gray hair. Likewise, my love for you was blue, but now it’s orange, and that’s a compliment."

"Hemidemisemiquaver [10w] The composer evened the score by ending in a hemidemisemiquaver."

"They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you drink my soul if you knew I’d use it to get inside of you? After all, most men buy women alcohol so they can get inside them too."

"I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time."

"I don’t want to be a supermodel; I want to be a role model."

"Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience."