#humor

"Her dancing inspires me to move. I used to be like a statue, and now I am more like a mannequin. So much more fashionable, you know?"

"I observe Stand Still Day. I also observe whatever I’m standing in front of at the time. I hope on that day I see how much you love me."

"I think there’s no greater joy than completing a song out of thin air. It’s like inventing something, but it’s invisible, you know? It’s weird. It amazes me. You can send it out in the world, and that’s the joy. It’s like giving birth to all these songs and letting them go like they’re your kids."

"Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out."

"We spend money that we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people who do not care."

"In a gust of guts and gusto, I told her of my love for her. Then, like a tornado, she spun what I said into something that terrorized Kansas."

"You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup."

"I just rely on natural talent,"said Adrian, strolling up to the start of the Dragon's Lair. "When you have such a wealth of it to draw from, the danger comes from having too much."

"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings."

"If you want to bend your mind, don’t use a crowbar."

"A scaly lizard in soapy water makes a great scrubber. I’d wash my hands of her, if I didn’t enjoy being treated like a dishrag so much."

"My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same."

"I just sprayed cologne on my hand and then pet the back of my cat's head while he slept, and he woke up so confused, trying to sniff behind his neck and all around wondering what sweet attack he was under."

"Sydney spent a lot of time on my bed these days.Unfortunately, it wasn't with me."

"Tried living in the real world instead of a shell, but I was bored before I even began."

"We must make love to find out how it’s made. I don’t know what the ingredients are, but I think we can make a batch or two by morning."

"The Tragedy of Forgetfulness When you stop loving someone,in order to heal your memory of them begins to fade.Unfortunately, the good ones fade with the bad and suddenlyyears of your life have disappeared."

"2D or Not 2D [10w] The best thing about a two-dimensional world is nobody's fat."

"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."