#humor

"Perfection [10w] If you've attained perfection,then what's the point of living?"

"You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny."

"but,=""soft!=""what=""light=""through=""yonder=""window=""breaks?"=""[10w]="""Shut the fuck up! I think we got a burglar."

"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."

"Jesus [10w] "Sorry to keep you hanging,but it's just our nature."

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

"Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous."

"All's fair in love and war,"said Ron brightly, "and this is a bit of both."

"Using my nipples as bait, I went fishing for compliments. I got a few bites, but nothing to write about in Field & Stream."

"See?” I’d whispered to Bones, nudging him with a grin. “He never argues with her. Isn’t that sweet?”A snort preceded his response. “Keep dreaming, pet."

"Hey,"said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are."The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes."Say 'Nevermore,'"said Shadow."Fuck you,"said the raven."

"The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me."

"So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —”“Don’t talk to your mother like that."

"Lubbock, Texas Haiku Oil wells, Hub of the Plains.Stinks like an armpit."

"My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for."

"I'm sure I'll feel much more grateful when I find a guy who thinks complex wiring in a girl is a turn-on."

"Time is Not a Constant [10w] Time speeds up, crawls, compresses and expands depending on mood."

"Do I own my soul, or would two of my clones?"

"Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based."