#Odd

"I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue."

"There's such an odd, eclectic group of people that make up the town of Plymouth, New Hampshire. I don't think I could avoid not coming out of there with a pretty good sense of humor."

"I always wear roller skates when I ride my bicycle. The more wheels the better, and that's what makes me a better lover. You know you want to go for a spin. I'll bring the record player, if you bring 1982 and her little sister, Elton John."

"He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse."

"Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory."

"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."

"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."

"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."

"As an Odd-Fish, it is not my job to be right,' said Sir Oort. 'It is my job to be wrong in new and exciting ways."

"All things are strange which are worth knowing."

"We no longer know each other. Hell, I barely know myself these days. I brush my teeth and look in the mirror and think, “Who is this guy taking care of my oral hygiene?"

"It's odd how violence and humor so often go together, isn't it?"

"To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle."

"Normal is over rated, and so is spelling.You want perfection? Go out and buy a spell check, but know this: Spellcheck won't keep you warm at night or love you unconditionaly. I will stick to being abnormal and a bad speller. Makes life more interesting. After all, what fun is there in being normal or perfect?"

"I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."

"My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?"

"You say freak, I say unique."

"Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone."

"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."