Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

"From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge."

"You know what I like most about people? Pets."

"Love means the world to me. But so does a globe."

"People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating."

"The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my bedroom windows. The sunrise is such a pervert."

"The difference between me and a scientist is a little word called “Science.” I don’t believe in it. Science has yet to validate my disbelief in Bigfoot."

"People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating."

"Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart."

"The ultimate weapon is Lady Gaga’s music. Why kill the enemy when you can play her music and they’ll want to kill themselves?"

"My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I know, because your heart fits perfectly inside mine."

"From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge."

"Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword."

"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."

"You know what I like most about people? Pets."

"To be the best, you have to be willing to do what nobody does. And today, if nobody reads and nobody works hard, then you also have to give up reading and become lethargic to be successful."

"My advice is to write in the nude. Unless you do your writing in a public restroom, and in that case, I’d recommend wearing flip flops."

"The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him."

"I type as fast as a ten-legged man who just had eight legs chopped off runs."

"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."

"I want to be the first and second man to dance on the moon. No, I won’t moonwalk. But I will Cha Cha—with my clone."