Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

"I am the red wheelbarrow of communism. William Carlos Williams wrote a poem about me."

"People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating."

"Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart."

"You know what I like most about people? Pets."

"My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I know, because your heart fits perfectly inside mine."

"The difference between me and a scientist is a little word called “Science.” I don’t believe in it. Science has yet to validate my disbelief in Bigfoot."

"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."

"Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart."

"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."

"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."

"You know what I like most about people? Pets."

"People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating."

"I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner."

"I type as fast as a ten-legged man who just had eight legs chopped off runs."

"The ultimate weapon is Lady Gaga’s music. Why kill the enemy when you can play her music and they’ll want to kill themselves?"

"My advice is to write in the nude. Unless you do your writing in a public restroom, and in that case, I’d recommend wearing flip flops."

"You know what I like most about people? Pets."

"Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword."

"Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart."

"I think you know if you disappeared from my life I’d be upset, but ultimately I’d make myself a new invisible cloak, to replace the one you stole."