humor

"The road to creativity passes so close to the madhouse and often detours or ends there."

"Last weekend I went out of my comfort zone to go hang out with people I’d only heard about, and I met one new person who turned out to be a very valuable contact. I should try networking at my family reunions more often, because that’s how I finally met my dad."

"Now stand in the corner, and think about what you've done!"

"Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression."Are you all right?"Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing."

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood,"Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

"While I was drying off Maddie after her bath tonight, she said, 'I love you' to me for the first time. It sounded like 'All lub boo,' but I didn't care. To reciprocate, I showed her what an ex-Marine looks like when he cries."

"The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished."

"There's something about Southern women that is so unique yet so universal. Strong southern women are allowed to be soft and feminine and have a sense of humor. But what I love about Southern women in particular is their universality."

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"I want everyone to meet you. You're my favorite person of all time."

"I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?"

"A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest."

"Set your compass to beauty, humor, and grief; stay the course no matter what, and I'll support you with everything I've got."

"Man, you weigh a freaking ton,"he told me. "What've you been eating, rocks?""Why, is your head missing some?"I croaked. His mouth almost quirked in a smile, and that's when I knew how upset he'd been"

"I used to be neurotic. I didn't like myself very much. But somewhere in my mid-40s, my neuroses stopped seeming so important. I developed a sense of humor."

"Can you be a girl for a few seconds?""I'm always a girl"I frown."You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl"I twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay."

"Have you made any other friends since we've been here?"I gave him the death stare. "Yes, actually.""Who? I want a name.""Jamie Roth.""The Ebola kid? I heard he's a little unstable.""That was one incident."

"Sometimes a scene may be about one thing, and it may end up still being about that, but the emotionality of it comes from somewhere else, or the humor of it comes from somewhere else, and it gives it that real-life quality."

"That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them."