#humor

"I'd been willing to kill for the people I loved for a very long time; now I had to start living for them."

"I guess it’s true what they say,"observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches.""That’s atheists, jackass,"said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches."

"Speak to the Head [10w] + {Couplet} Tis of no fucking availTo speak to the tail."

"Westley: This is true love — you think this happens every day?"

"I want to meddle with an Olympic medal made of silver metal. I want to alchemize it into gold, and use a mixture of science and mysticism to transform losing into winning."

"You're dead, George. You just don't have the sense to lie down."

"I am Dead, but it's not so bad. I've learned to live with it."

"Heartbreak [10w] Heartbreak’s like a heart attack but without the hospital bills."

"01210 is a pyramid, & worms move like handicapped snakes. My dream belongs in a wheelchair, because I just spilled coffee all over my sleep."

"People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort."

"At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women."

"Southern Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Sure nuff, I'm happier than a cat on a formerly hot tin roofwhich now usesNXT Cool Zone® heat reflecting roof coating ~but I'm still ornier than a mule on loco weedand a whole lot hornier than a two-dicked billy goat.You gots any coatin' for dat?"

"And, drunk with my own madness, I shouted at him furiously, "Make life beautiful! Make life beautiful!"

"I always thought it was Mo Be Dick. I know Mo, and he is a dick."

"Pooh,"said Rabbit kindly, "you haven't any brain.""I know,"said Pooh humbly."

"I couldn't believe I'd come this far, lost Tyson, suffered through so much, only to fail - stopped by a big stupid monster in a baby-blue tuxedo kilt. Nobody was going to swat down my friends like that! I mean...nobody, not Nobody. Ah, you know what I mean."

"Read vs. Write If you want to know about life second hand, read;if you want to experience life directly, write."

"You're not a woman,"he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!"

"Movies [10w] Movies were invented to sellbuttery snacks and sugary drinks"

"The sheer quantity of brain power that hurled itself voluntarily and quixotically into the search for new baseball knowledge was either exhilarating or depressing, depending on how you felt about baseball. The same intellectual resources might have cured the common cold, or put a man on Pluto."