#humor

"Don't Quit ❣ Don't quit on love and it won't bail on you."

"Today's Affirmation [10w] "I'll unplug myself from myselfand plug into something higher."

"The Delinquent Girl Chronicles Ages 7-11: Skip ropeAges 12-16: Skip classAge 17: Skip periodAge 18: Skip coming homeAge 19: Skip town"

"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."

"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."

"Mint Julep {Couplet} I've had more than a hint of a tulip or two,after treating them to a mint julep, or two."

"Why?' is always the most difficult question to answer. You know where you are when someone asks you 'What's the time?' or 'When was the battle of 1066?' or 'How do these seatbelts work that go tight when you slam the brakes on, Daddy?' The answers are easy and are, respectively, 'Seven-thirty in the evening,' 'Ten-fifteen in the morning,' and 'Don't ask stupid questions."

"Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike."

"There are no things man was not meant to know. There are, perhaps, things man is too dumb to figure out, but that's a different problem."

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."

"Prolific [10w] "Perhaps I'm prolific because I believe creativity can forestall death."

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?""Yes,"said Harry stiffly."Yes, sir.""There's no need to call me "sir"Professor."The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying."

"How Much Space? {Couplet} Give a lover space enough to rejoice in their choice,but not enough room for their doubts to give voice."

"Hook 'em I know how to leave them satisfied and hungry for more ~with a carefully administered shot of insulin."

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."

"I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy."

"Using my nipples as bait, I went fishing for compliments. I got a few bites, but nothing to write about in Field & Stream."

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."

"This has to be the most self-centered thing I've ever said, but no, I think you just wanted to vex me."

"If we make it out of this alive, I’ll kill you. So you have that to look forward to."