#humor

"I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents’ prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it ."

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff."

"A joke is a very serious thing."

"Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth."

"You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!"

"I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time."

"Enemies of My Enemies Who knew the enemies of my enemies were good dancers."

"Lawful good to lawful evil!"said Simon, pleased."He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons,"said Clary. "Ignore him."

"Hermits vs. Rising Real Estate Costs [10w] Hermits can no longer afford a cabin in the woods."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."

"Hide things everywhere. Forget about them. Find them randomly and feel surprised like a pirate finding buried treasure. Avoid scurvy. Love more."

"Q & A The illness of our time is not that we lack for answers;man's tragedy is that we've forgotten the important questions."

"No one believes a liar. Even when she's telling the truth."

"Fame [10w] Fame has a funny way of rewriting your entire past."

"Cricket Bell.” I smiled into my phone. “How did you get so wise?"

"I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."

"What's that?""That's my attack poodle."

"From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge."

"Autumn Ikebana [10w] + {Haiku} Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves.or:Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves."

"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."