humor

"Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.Good things come to those who wait."

"Damien has died and gone straight to gay boy heaven,' Shaunee said..."

"I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum"

"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."

"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."

"Maybe I should, I don't know leave? Because this is starting to sound like one of those reality shows I don't want to be in. Maybe you guys want to take turns in the confessional booth."

"It used to take me forever to read and comprehend stuff, so I decided not to make the 'Captain Underpants' books too challenging. Don't get me wrong - the humor and ideas are often sophisticated - but the books aren't hard to read. I wanted kids who hate reading to find these books irresistible."

"Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it."

"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal. I would pour you a large glass of Michael Phelps, but I don’t have that much water."

"See?” I’d whispered to Bones, nudging him with a grin. “He never argues with her. Isn’t that sweet?”A snort preceded his response. “Keep dreaming, pet."

"Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all."

"Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life."

"I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird."

"I had a dream about you. The seasons changed, but you did not. You were the same old person you always were, only older. And I was the same old person I always was, only younger. Yes, I’d discovered the Fountain of Youth, and since we were such old friends, I was going to let you have a swig for 10% off the suggested retail price."

"Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts"

"The biggest void that people can have in their lives is a sense of humor. Spending your life with someone who doesn't have that wouldn't be palatable."

"Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it."

"But because it was able to balance that kind of humor with a sweet story and characters you really rooted for and also got across the girls' point of view, I've heard nothing but great things from younger and older females as well."