humor

"Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?"

"Pizza is circular. So is an hour. I’ll take two slices—to go."

"Are you sleepwalking?' A voice asked behind me. "I was testing dorm security,"I said. "It sucks."

"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."

"Um,"Doc said in a mild voice, "medically speaking, I'm not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition.""But I feel better,"Jared answered, sullen.Doc smiled the tiniest smile. "Well, maybe a few more minutes of unconsciousness won't kill him."

"I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry."

"We lay there and looked up at the night sky and she told me about stars called blue squares and red swirls and I told her I'd never heard of them. Of course not, she said, the really important stuff they never tell you. You have to imagine it on your own."

"Yeah, well, food's one of the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfigurations,"said Ron, to general astonishment."

"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

"My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me."

"There's public humor, and there's private humor, and they're all appropriate in their own way, and you shouldn't - just as you wouldn't have a megaphone and say certain things that you would say around your friends - things that are perfectly all right within your close social group with whom you share a certain context."

"Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you."

"I’ll stand by you. And by stand I mean cower in your shadow. It’s probably cold there, so I’m going to knit myself a warm cat sweater to wear."

"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost."

"Westley: This is true love — you think this happens every day?"

"I’m an all-the-water-I-can-drink-in-a-flower-vase kind of lover. Roses and batteries sold separately."

"Sure, I am funny and have a good sense of humor. Mostly, though, I just tell the truth. The internal dialogue people have in their heads - I just write it."

"I could scarf down a scarf faster than I could eat any other throat warmer, with the possible exception of your clenched hands around my neck."