humor

"Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them."

"Okay, sense of humor: plus one. Being able to laugh at yourself: plus one. Being able to laugh at other people without being mean: plus one. Vanity: minus one."

"Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?"

"When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing."

"When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference.But laughing is exactly what I did."

"If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life."

"However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be."

"Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor."

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"Writer’s block is only a failure of the ego."

"have i gone mad?im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are."

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!"

"Squeeze out the competition—with hugs. I’m giving out FREE hugs while samples last. After that I’ll have to charge an arm and a leg—or maybe just two arms."

"A girl can still admire, can’t she? Even those who can’t afford to go in the store can still window-shop. Right? Knowing he wasn’t for me didn’t mean I couldn’t covet the merchandise."

"Stand-up comics reflect less of a visual humor and more of a commentary."

"We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon."

"I guess, for me, I've always thought that there was humor everywhere. And as a kid, I just, you know, I grew up an only child, and I - sort of nothing made me happier than to make my parents laugh. I remember I had costumes and things laying around the house that I was, you know, anything that I could do to make my parents laugh."

"Always have a sense of humor about life - you'll need it - but always be courteous to boot."

"Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating."