humor

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."

"He studied my appearance carefully. “You cut your hair.” “Yes. Do you like it?” “That depends. How long is it?” I pulled a curl down and showed him it ended just past my shoulder. He grunted, “That’s still long enough, so I like it.” “Long enough for what?” “Long enough for a man to run his hands through."

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

"If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere."

"Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self."

"I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite."

"Twitter is the place where I try to be more funny. And then I use Instagram just as my diary. I pull some jokes on there, but I think people have a better sense of humor on Twitter."

"Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to."

"You look too pretty to be useful.""Truer words were never spoken."

"I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me."

"I should never be left alone with my mind for too long."

"The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are..."

"I want to do it too!"(sitting motionless)Nudge: "Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church."Max: (muttering) "Appropriately enough."Iggy: "What about me?"(stands still)Max: "No, you're visible."Iggy: "Am not!"Max: (throws a pinecone at him) "Could I do that if I wouldn't see you?"

"I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker."

"Exactly!"said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."

"Dude, I don’t want to talk about Lacey’s prom shoes. And I’ll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It’s called a penis."

"Believe it or not, there's a lot of humor in 'Mad Men.' Especially in the dark moments."

"I was a product of a divorced family and I used humor as a weapon to combat sadness. I used comedy to make my mother laugh in light of the darkness that she faced, and to me it became a very powerful tool at a very young age, at six. I saw how therapeutic it could be."

"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."

"We are not actually in charge of life, yet behave as if we are the masters of our own destiny. The realization of this fact is quite a hard one. The ridiculousness of our pomposity and presumption can only result in anger or humor."