humor

"Today we’re living in an anti-Waldo world, where you don’t want to blend in and have people struggle to find you. You want your personal brand to stand out like you’re wearing a red and white sweater, and everyone else has on black."

"I find humor to be the most attractive characteristic, but I certainly won't cancel anything out, considering when you love someone you love someone, and sometimes you just can't explain it."

"She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her."

"The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living."

"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."

"I reread Mesrine's book every year because the way the story is told is fascinating. Today, we don't have gangsters like Mesrine - he had humor."

"Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends."

"Professors of literature collect books the way a ship collects barnacles, without seeming effort."

"We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling."

"I think bands, when they're on the road, they keep their sanity by developing an internal sense of humor."

"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."

"Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees."

""Don't be scared of Bambi"the demon said. "She's only curious and maybe a little bit hungry."The thing was named Bambi?Oh, my God, the thing stared at me like it wanted to eat me."

"The whole ability to look at the complexity of race and any sort of associated -ism and still find humor, that's a very interesting space."

"You want to change? Lose the bitch. Be nicer to people. Stop telling them to "bite you"and threatening to kick them until they're dead."

"I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire."

"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."

"Go sip on gossip, and leave the coffee talk for me to chug. I’ll be in the kitchen, giggling like a schoolgirl if you need me."

"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."

"Knocking on a door is so violent. Talk on the door. Try to get it to open up through communication, not violence."